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I don't know what I'll do that will short-circuit this agony
I don't know which way I'll go where I won't be lost anymore
I am unrepentant and unashamed of what I am and why
I chose this and I keep it
I tend it and I hold it and it is mine
I don't know what it is I'll do to cleanse myself of this life I've lived
I don't know by what means I'll strike dead the old gods
I don't know when it will be or even why
I don't know how I'll do it or where or for what reasons
But it will happen
I will smite them from the skies and they will rue my ever being born
They will rue my ever having lived
Because my ever having lived will be that which tried me
By which I fell further and lost ever the more
Was burned and scorched and set fire to
But in spite of these mortal deaths I did not die
I fell over and I lost many a time
I lost and lost more and fell and fell away more
Til all I knew finally at last was the knocking of the door
Tears and sorrow and sundry things
I don't know when it'll be or how or where
But I will find my way
It will be bold and vicious and virulent
It will be scalding and boiling and violent
It will be merciless and ruthless and scouring
It shall leer and loll and howl
I shall bombard my life
Til my life yields
Or til my life is nothing upon nothing upon nothing
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