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You won't see this. I am writing to myself. white in, I have to put it somewhere. You'll never know the things I did for you. For us. The choices I made when I heard your voice the first time. The burned out flame that roared to life as if a secret signal had been heard awakening something long asleep. Everything from that moment on, I did for you. For us. I never told you. I didn't want to scare you. How could anyone believe the way I do? The crazy label would be applied and I would be dismissed. I knew you. I've always known you. Since my coming into being, I already knew you. I guess this knowing doesn't mean we will be together in this time. Perhaps some other time. Or perhaps, not at all. This grand perspective cannot override the here and now. The details now that seem so small. I blew it. I didn't do anything wrong except not trust this very truth I proclaim. I fell to this time, these insecurities. Lost my own direction so briefly and now you will be gone. You will run. Another 2 years will pass and I will be here. Waiting. Hoping. Loving. I have truly lost everything. Be well, my love. Be steady. Be happy. Be the wonderful you you are. Grow. Mature. Age and die peacefully. May your on your .
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