All ladies out there... please help me understand... m4w More than a request for friendship, this is a request just for someone to talk to and help me understand my girlfriend... I'm sure there's one of you out there who has the answers and can help me rescue my relationship and be happy... Let me tell you the story:
I met my girlfriend at work. I was already separated and in the process of divorcing my ex-wife, with whom I have 2 girls. Won't go into details about my divorce because they're not relevant - I think. We started dating a few months after meeting, and I should have noticed the signals right away. She's a very smart and attractive person. I love her mostly because of that. She's full of qualities - Smart, good looking, well traveled, well educated, financially responsible, and we share a lot of common things, including our financial targets (though the divorce left me a financial wreck), religion (we're both atheists), our passion for travel, art, wines. There's something we don't share though: I'm an extremely affectionate, touchy, sexual person. She is mostly cold (holding hands is already a PDA), reserved, and completely uninterested in sex.
We never had sex until a few months later when we decided to move in together. I decided to go for it because I thought she wanted commitment before actually going for sex. I thought she would be more comfortable about that, and the about 9 months (yes 9 months) we had been dating before this I was very clear I expected eventually sex to be part of our relationship. ow when we started "having sex" picture this: We've been together for 2 years now and we have never had intercourse. She's ok with oral sex but not intercourse, she claims it hurts. And even this, I'm lucky if I have sex 3-4 times a month.
All this time I've been treating her like a queen. She can't really complain abut it. I cook for her, clean up around, do her laundry, hold her at night (which she initially didn't like), i can go on and on. Now of course I also snap when she does things I dislike and of course when she refuses repeatedly to have sex. And it does get me really depressed.
I know a lot of you out there are going to say "why don't you just leave her?" Here's the catch: I lost my job a few months back and it's been really hard for me to get a new one. I can't afford to just leave to a new place. But most important of all: I do love her. I want to save the relationship. I just want to understand her and see why is she so uninterested. if it's me doing something wrong, what do I need to do. If it's her, how do I get her to work with me on it. And I read every possible book in the subject and just not finding the answers. She does not want to do any kind of therapy.
Is there anyone out there who wants to talk to me and help me figure it out? Please? I'm really desperate and depressed...
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