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Asked what my ideal woman was So a friend and I were talking. He asked me, "what are you looking for in a woman? If you didnt have to settle, what would make you happy?"
I thought about it and said, "she has to have a beautiful smile, one I can wake up to in the morning. She doesnt have to be skinny but cannot weigh more than me. She has her own life but wives want sex Lowgap choses to be with me. Maybe a red head or a blond. She makes her own money and doesnt need mine. She has a car and can drive. She is beautiful but doesnt know it. She is a natural beauty."
Thinking I am finished, my friend says, "okay, that seems simple enough,"
"She has to be smart and doesnt give up. She knows science. She loves the Mets and gets ALL the humor on the Big Bang Theory. She only wants to be with me, wants to love me for me. She likes to go to the movies but thinks hollywood can do better. She loves music. She appreciates flowers and me opening doors for her. She understands why i would make her walk on the inside of the sidewalk. She likes cats. She doesnt have food allergies. I would like her to be somewhat normal in the head."
My friend says, "okay, that woman is out there."
Still not done, I told him, "She needs to love and know star trek as much as I do."
He pauses and looks at me and says, "youre hopeless, no woman like that exists. Itll never happen."
BAZINGA!

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